As you can see this post is entitled 20 Days, and you may be wondering what is in 20 days, and it just so happens that in 20 days, the web address for this site becomes a true title again, I will be heading back to Cambodia and this will be the place to come for all of the updates on my life and the work that God is doing in and through me. I am sitting here, 20 days from this big move, and I think I am trying to learn how to process some things. I am not having a crisis of faith or even really questioning God at all, but I am really feeling the pain that I think people don't recognize enough in the church. Sometimes following Christ is hard, and it's ok to say that.
Tonight as we were driving home from my dad's birthday dinner, my mom started crying when she thought about how soon I would be leaving, and in turn, this brought me to tears and we cried for a while together. There was brokenness and sadness and hurt, but it was GOOD. Just because these things exist in our lives doesn't mean that we are doing something wrong, but inversely, sometimes I think they may mean that we are doing something right.
When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane, he was praying with such intensity that scripture said He was sweating blood. Now, I don't know about you, but that doesn't make me think that He just nonchalantly decided that dying on the cross was gonna be the thing that He did, in fact, He even prayed that the cup might pass from Him, but in the end, He prayed that God's will would be done and not His own...
I am not in any way saying that my struggle is anything compared to Jesus' but I do think that if we are going to call ourselves followers of Christ, then we should probably be ready to follow Him and His will even when it hurts for us and even when it might not be our first choice. Now, I know that some people might read this and think that I am having second thoughts about what I am doing in moving to Cambodia and I don't want any of you to think that, because that is not the case at all. I am very excited to be used by God in Cambodia and I consider it a privilege to be called to this ministry and I could not have planned this life that God has given me if I wanted to. But I simply want to encourage you to allow yourself to fell hurt and pain and not feel bad about it. Like I said at the beginning, I love you all and that is why I want to be honest. I thank you all for joining me in this adventure as I embark on a new journey and I will keep you updated as much as I can. Peace and Love be with you always!!!!
