THE FIGHT!!!

Sometimes, life sucks!!! Plain and simple... there are days where crap happens and it is so easy to let those situations rob us of one of the things that the Bible mentions as a point of strength. Nehemiah 8:10b says "Do not grieve, FOR THE JOY OF THE LORD IS YOUR STRENGTH." (emphasis added...) Let me take a moment here, to give some context so you don't think that my battle is against grief, because it's not... In the book of Nehemiah, the Israelites had just come back to Jerusalem and they had found the city in shambles and and they had finally had a chance to gather together for a reading of the Word of the LORD and after the word had been read, they started weeping... Seems like an odd reaction, but I think they were realizing the greatness of God's love and their failure to live in a covenant with Him and that is a lot to take in, but either way their grief was misdirected and so Nehemiah, Ezra and the Levites tell the people that they ought to celebrate and not mourn because God had redeemed them once more and HIS joy would be their strength... Mourning when in a proper context is a beautiful and healing thing... But that is not what this post is about... This post is about THE JOY OF THE LORD!!!

SO back to what I was saying... As humans we find ourselves locked in this battle, between weeping and laughter, between joy and sorrow... Again, weeping and sorrow are also Biblical, but I live in a place where the the enemy has had too much time given to him to steal the joy of the people here. I have been learning more about the Khmer Rouge (if you don't know what the Khmer Rouge was please leave this blog and look it up right now) and I have been faced with this giant tragedy which took the lives of anywhere up to 3,000,000 people in a 3 year, 8 month, and 20 day time span... I have gone to the prison where people were mercilessly tortured and the field where they were taken to be beat to death and it is sad... I have mourned the loss of these lives and I would encourage you to do the same, but WE CAN'T STOP AT MOURNING!!! WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN JOY and I think it is about time to BRING THE JOY OF THE LORD TO THIS TIRED AND DYING WORLD!!! This past week I had many reasons not to be joyful and I can't honestly tell you that I was joyful... I missed one of my best friend's wedding (Grant and Molly Newman's) and it really bummed me out... I know that might sound like a small thing, but in a place where there are so many giant things happening, sometimes it just takes one small thing to throw everything out of whack... And thus I was confronted with the reality of this battle...

This can happen, that can happen, there are heaps of things that can go wrong on any given day... It would be so much easier to just lay down and take each punch right... but I say SCREW THAT!!!  JESUS DIDN'T COME TO REDEEM US SO THAT WE COULD LET the devil STEAL OUR JOY!!! WE HAVE BEEN SET FREE!!! But I am learning that joy and freedom are things that must be chosen... All aspects of life are dictated by choice... Our ability to make choices is one of our defining characteristics as humans... So why do we often choose sadness over joy? Why do we so often choose captivity and slavery over freedom? I think that many of us, even though we hat to admit it, are afraid of being free because with freedom comes responsibility... because in admitting that these things re a choice, if we are not experiencing freedom, or are not joyful, it comes back to us... A great price has been paid for us, Jesus Christ offered up His life and suffered because of the joy set before Him, and we are given the option of receiving this gift, or denying it... The choice is, and always has been ours...

The Bible talks about the relationship of the church and Christ as that of a shepherd and his sheep, and I am just stuck with this picture of Jesus beckoning us to come and see the wonderful pastures that exist outside of the pen that we have been living in, but we are too afraid to follow Him... He wants us to experience what we once thought was impossible, but now is made possible through the power of the Holy Spirit, oven freely to all who receive...

So, this is my call to arms, EMBRACE THE FREEDOM GIVEN BY OUR WONDERFUL FATHER!!! ABIDE IN HIS LOVE WHICH COVERS A MULTITUDE OF SINS!!! TAKE HEART AND FIND STRENGTH IN HIS JOY!!! 

FOR HE IS GOOD!!!

Now, just to clarify once more, this is NOT saying that we can't ever mourn or that sadness is at all anti God in any way!!! There are moments where we see that Christ wept and mourned, and that is perfectly good, pain is real, BUT SO IS HOPE!!! And that is the point!!! Joy is real, freedom is real, and hope is real!!! I am not trying to encourage you to be an energizer bunny Christian that just keeps going and going and going and never stops to allow the things in life to affect them, but I am encouraging us all to keep pushing through the pain to find the joy on the other side!!! Sometimes I have been known to say "CHOOSE JOY!" to my mom, and I have said it so many times and now she uses it against me when I get upset, but the point is that we can choose joy!!! I encourage you to take some time and evaluate areas of your life where you have let the devil steal your joy and CLAIM FREEDOM IN CHRIST AND CHOOSE TO RECLAIM THE JOY HE HAS GIVEN YOU!!! DON'T LET the devil STEAL YOUR JOY!!! 

BE FREE!!!

 FOR HE HAS SET YOU FREE!!!

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ALMOST JULY!!!!

Well, I feel terrible that I haven't written anything in over a month... I am doing well, life has been BUSY!!! I have been working on a bunch of stuff for my work here!!! It has been a super productive month, but I am coming to the end of it and I am realizing how little I have been able to talk to a lot of people that mean a lot to me... If you are one of the people I have not talked to I am really sorry... I will try to make sure that we connect in the months to come...

Life here has been FLYING by!!! It is blowing my mind how fast time can start to move... Just yesterday was the five month mark, making this the longest amount of time that I have been away from America and it kind of blew my mind... This time has passed so fast and the months have been a blur... It is weird to be away for as long as I have been... but to be honest, I really do love life here!!! I mean, for those of you in America, I MISS YOU ALL LIKE CRAZY!!! But, that said, there is nothing that beats being in the place that God has lead you to, and to be doing the thing that might seem difficult and terrible to someone else, but to me it is A JOY!!!

The tour company is starting to become a reality which is TOTALLY INSANE!!! There is still so much work that we need to do, but for the most part things are looking really good!!! In the month of June we had six tours, and the guys got to job shadow as the staff from our organization led the tours. We still have a boat load of work to do, but it is a good start!!! I am learning a lot about running a business and I feel like God has really been preparing me along with the guys for all of this to really start!!! GOD IS SO GOOD!!!

I know this isn't the longest post ever, but it'll have to do!!! As always, I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU!!! And I hope that things are well for you wherever you are!!! GOD BLESS AND TAKE CARE!!!

Let it RAIN!!!

      So, no doubt some of you will assume this to be only a spiritual post and there will be some of that, but really the title is inspired by the reality of rainy season starting here in Cambodia. Welcome to rainy season, where it rains at least once a day and sometimes for the whole day... I am not a huge fan... The one nice thing about the rain is that it does cool down the days and makes the heat a little more bearable. Sometimes it rains so much that the streets completely flood... I have to say, if the water didn't look like it came straight from the sewer I would love to play in the streets with the kids... So the streets flooding can sometimes be a problem because tuk tuk's and moto's (which are the modes of transportation here) have a really hard time getting through the high waters and sometimes you are forced to just wait for the water to go down or wade through it (which I have already had to do...) and hope that no rats run across your feet.

    Other than the physical complications to life that come with rainy season, it is a cool picture to think of how this country, though sometimes the rain get's to strong and floods, would not survive without the rain. Seeing this reminds me of the worship song "Grace Like Rain"... In Israel, there was not a lot of rain, there was normally just enough to sustain you until the next tiny rain came along. Here there is nothing small about the rains we have here, but just coming out of the dry season and having the chance to see the fields during the dry season, it became evident to me that this country could not survive without the rain... Similarly, in my own life, I need God's grace to rain down on me, and in my life, there have been times or seasons where I have not felt that grace and I have felt dry, but the rains always seem to come when I think that I just can't take it any longer.

    So for this I am grateful, that God would allow me to have this physical picture of His grace for me... THAT THE  STREETS MIGHT FLOOD WITH HIS GRACE AND MERCY!!! THAT THE CHILDREN MIGHT GATHER IN THE STREETS TO ENJOY THE BOUNTIFUL GRACE OF OUR LOVING FATHER!!! THAT THE LORD MIGHT RAIN HIS GRACE ALL OVER US!!! MAY YOU FIND THAT YOU ARE DRENCHED IN HIS GRACE TODAY!!!

   "Come, let us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces but He will heal us; He has injured us, but He will bind up our wounds. After two days He will revive us; on the third day He will restore us, that we may live in His presence. Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge Him. As surely as the sun rises He will appear; He will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that cover the earth."
    -Hosea 6:1-3 (NIV)

Update on WORK!!!

Hey World,

How the heck are you!!! I am doing well over here in Cambodia. Currently it is hot season which is not particularly enjoyable, but it is kind of fun to have such an extreme change of pace from usual life!!! So, I realize that I post a lot about my thoughts and feelings, which is good, but I would also like for you all to know about the work that I get to do here in Cambodia!!! So, it has been over two months of being on the ground here and it has been such a whirlwind!!! From hosting guests from America, to teaching four hours of English per day, my life has not been boring in the last two months to say the least!!! So, you may be thinking what is it exactly that you do???

Well, for those of you that don't know, I am currently working with a group of guys who are currently working at male massage parlors as male prostitutes, but who desire to have a different life. I have been teaching them four days a week, two hours of English and one hour of computer training, and it has been really awesome to see their abilities growing. They have gone from not really being able to even introduce themselves, to being able to ask for introductions, introduce themselves and talk about their families. They have been really dedicated and it gives me hope for where their lives are going, and the future that I believe that God has for these guys. Some might think, why now, why did they ever get into these situations? And that isn't a terrible question, but I think in any case, working with any group of people the question is not, how did they let this happen, but, do they know that there is something more and it is within reach. Now, it's not always easy, but I wouldn't trade anything for the opportunity that I have to work with these guys. They have all become so much more than just my students, they are my friends and I hope that one day I will have the privilege to call them brothers. I am excited to see where the near future takes us as we prepare to launch a new project with these guys to help provide them with a sustainable employment opportunity... But let's not get ahead of ourselves, we still have a lot of English to learn...

I have also been helping one of our other teachers at the center with his English class which is comprised of young adults from the community around our center and it has been a blast. Here in Cambodia, they are not really used to learning through games and so it has been hilarious to see them fight the games that we use to now asking when we are going to play the games... IT'S AWESOME!!! I love being goofy with them and just letting them feel free to be ridiculous!!! I got a chance to try and explain Easter to them because I was really excited about it and I am not sure they really understood, but it was great trying to communicate that to them.

I have really loved working with our staff at the boys center also, we have, in my opinion eleven of the most wonderful Khmer staff that you could find!!! They continue to amaze me with their ability to love the kids that come to our center and their ability to find ways to help the kids in the situations that they are in. I am not sure if I am leaving anything out. If you have any questions, let me know and I will get in touch with you somehow!!! I love you all and I pray that God blesses you today and forevermore!!!

OUR STORIES and RECONCILIATION!!!!

WOW, it has been a while... Sorry about that, I guess moving to a new country can be a little overwhelming, but it is no excuse... I have been in Cambodia almost four weeks, and I can't believe it... It seems like it has been only five days or something, and then I sit and I think about all that I have done and I begin to see that it has been a long time... For those of you in the US, I miss you and I love you and I don't want you to forget that or question it, and for my friends in Cambodia, I am so lucky to have you all and I am excited to minister with you here and love the way that we have been loved!!!

So, today as I was riding on the bus, I began to read a book (shocking I know) and I was very moved by the words that I read. The book is called "Chasing Saint Francis" and it was written by Ian Morgan Cron, and it is a semi-fictional account of a pastor from the northeast who is having a crisis of faith and decides to go to Italy and retrace the steps of Francis of Assisi. It is a good book so far, and I would recommend it to anyone, but the things that have stuck out to me so far are the idea of our stories, and the great need I see for reconciliation in our mixed up and crazy world. These are two things that I think we Christians need to examine, and fix what needs to be fixed!!!

So, first with OUR STORIES, I think so often we overlook the idea of life as a giant story given to us by the True Author, and I believe this to be a gross oversight. Today I thought about how often we look to the Bible for answers, and we desire to make it a text book, and we spend so much time defending our faith from some predator as if defense is what God had intended... But I think the more I read the Bible I see that this collection of stories, wisdom, poetry, and songs are less about answers and defense and are more of an invitation into the true Story that has existed since the dawn of Creation. In the Scriptures we see an invitation to an adventure with a wild and untamable God who created everything and can destroy it all. He is the one who has put us here and He has done so that we might understand His great love for us, through the pain, and through the joy, through the heartbreak and through the love, He is with us through the whole thing.

In the receiving of the Scriptures, we are given a great gift, a way to see how God has been involved with humanity from the very creation of man to the renewal of all things at the end of time, we see a powerful, loving, just, and merciful God who is mysterious and well known all at the same time. He has desired to be involved with humanity and we have far too often chosen to reject Him, but he has not given up on us. He came down and died the death of a sinner, and took our sin to the grave with Him but the grave couldn't hold Him, and He conquered death and reigns forever. The most insane part of this is that He actually desires us... I mean think about that... it doesn't make sense, but He is calling us to come and follow Him, that with Him we might know what true life really looks like. What a beautiful idea, that I might be considered worthy to be written in as part of this GREAT story!!! To deny it seems unimaginable, yet every day I deny it when I choose my own way and not His way... But this is where reconciliation comes in.

"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old is gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17

This is what RECONCILIATION is, that the old is gone and the new has come through CHRIST JESUS!!! God, in His great mercy, reconciled mankind to Himself, and has given us as that chapter says, the ministry of reconciliation. This is something that I know I have been TERRIBLE at, and I am pretty sure the Church as a whole needs a giant crash course in what reconciliation truly means... I live in a place that has so much to be reconciled, only thirty-seven years ago, they experienced a mass genocide that lasted for three years eight months and twenty days, and took the lives of about two million people, and now the people are being ravaged by the sex industry and all other criminal acts that come along with it. I live in a place where the need for reconciliation is very apparent, and I struggle through it every day.

I desire so deeply to show this reconciliation to others, but at the same time, I must learn to be reconciled myself. In my life, I have held on to sin, and have chosen sin over God way too many times, but God has never turned His back on me. Every time I fail, he brings be back to Him, and gently restores all that I have destroyed. In recent months I have begun using an Orthodox prayer rope as a part of my times with God, and while many may think that it is silly or repetitious, and some might even say that it is un-Biblical, I can tell you that I have never understood my reconciliation to the Lord more than I do at this point in my life. The way you pray through the prayer rope is to repeat the prayer "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." and depending on how many knots your rope is, you say it that many times. But the point is not how many times you say it, but rather the state of your heart as you say it. The Orthodox mystics would say that you needed to continue to pray this prayer out loud until it became the prayer of your heart. I need to cry out for His mercy everyday, because without it, I am doing things on my own and I know that story and it isn't one that I would like to repeat. In praying this, I have found that the Holy Spirit empowers me with His strength to take on the new day and that, He is the one living in me.

Every good thing comes from God, so if I am doing good things, it is God at work in me. Wether we acknowledge that or not, is on us, and I pray that in my life God receives all the glory!!! I know this has been a long post, but I thank you for reading this far and I pray that, if you need to be reconciled to God, that you get on your knees and cry out to Him, He will listen, and if you need to be reconciled to others, approach them and ask forgiveness. Do not delay, we have wasted enough time fighting with each other, it is time that we put the weapons down and extended our arms in forgiveness. This is how God will be displayed to the masses. So go in peace and be reconciled, each one to your brother and sister and know that you have been reconciled to God and your story has been redeemed!!! I love you all!!! Peace and blessings ;)

20 Days

Well, I know my blogging is sporadic and I am thankful for any of you that take the time to read what I have to write. I want you to know that I love you all, even if I don't know you I love you because I know a God who is love and He has loved me... Anyway, I am starting out with rambling which is never a good sign...

As you can see this post is entitled 20 Days, and you may be wondering what is in 20 days, and it just so happens that in 20 days, the web address for this site becomes a true title again, I will be heading back to Cambodia and this will be the place to come for all of the updates on my life and the work that God is doing in and through me. I am sitting here, 20 days from this big move, and I think I am trying to learn how to process some things. I am not having a crisis of faith or even really questioning God at all, but I am really feeling the pain that I think people don't recognize enough in the church. Sometimes following Christ is hard, and it's ok to say that.

Tonight as we were driving home from my dad's birthday dinner, my mom started crying when she thought about how soon I would be leaving, and in turn, this brought me to tears and we cried for a while together. There was brokenness and sadness and hurt, but it was GOOD. Just because these things exist in our lives doesn't mean that we are doing something wrong, but inversely, sometimes I think they may mean that we are doing something right.

When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane, he was praying with such intensity that scripture said He was sweating blood. Now, I don't know about you, but that doesn't make me think that He just nonchalantly decided that dying on the cross was gonna be the thing that He did, in fact, He even prayed that the cup might pass from Him, but in the end, He prayed that God's will would be done and not His own...

I am not in any way saying that my struggle is anything compared to Jesus' but I do think that if we are going to call ourselves followers of Christ, then we should probably be ready to follow Him and His will even when it hurts for us and even when it might not be our first choice. Now, I know that some people might read this and think that I am having second thoughts about what I am doing in moving to Cambodia and I don't want any of you to think that, because that is not the case at all. I am very excited to be used by God in Cambodia and I consider it a privilege to be called to this ministry and I could not have planned this life that God has given me if I wanted to. But I simply want to encourage you to allow yourself to fell hurt and pain and not feel bad about it. Like I said at the beginning, I love you all and that is why I want to be honest. I thank you all for joining me in this adventure as I embark on a new journey and I will keep you updated as much as I can. Peace and Love be with you always!!!!

Tangled Kites

This past spring I had the chance to go to Wisconsin with my best friend Dani because she was going to a support raising seminar there. While we were there I had a lot of free time and for the morning of the first day that we were there I drove thirty minutes north and arrived in Milwaukee. The first thing I did was find a cool little coffee shop right on Lake Michigan, and the second thing I did was take a walk by the lake. This piece that I am about to share was inspired during my walk by the lake and it is called "Tangled Kites"

As I walk along the path leading to the lake I see a bright piece of plastic trapped in the branches of a tree. I pause for a moment to look closer and see that this is no ordinary piece of plastic, it is a kite. A kite, which is meant to soar and be free, but is now stuck amidst the branches of a leafless tree. As I see the one, I begin to notice that this kite is not alone, I survey the scene and I see that in many of the trees around where I stand there are kites who have lost their lives to the unforgiving grip of the barren monsters with destructive arms whose grasp is unrelenting.

As I look a little more I begin to imagine being a child again, with my kite in my hands and all the possibilities in the world. Nothing can keep me down because I have my kite! So I let it fly, it launches into the wind as I struggle to hold on; the excitement is building; which way will the wind blow next? Then, as I continue running with my kite, without any warning it stops. It's stuck. What happened? I look up into the sun with devastation in my heart... a tree... And now the joy, the possibility, and the wonder have all gone, stolen by the grip of the tree whose grasp holds the kite still.

I can't help but think that this is what happens all too often in life. As children we believe that anything can happen, that we can be whatever we want to be and we can change the world!!! but somewhere along the way the dream gets lost, something happens or someone says something and just like the tree holds onto the kite, so we allow these things to steal our dreams. We lose hope that anything else is possible and we settle for the world as it is. We begin to see the world through the lenses of doubt, "realism", and cynicism and we submit ourselves to the lie that there is nothing we can do. But I believe that this is a lie, the God that I serve is the God who be=rings hope to the hopeless, faith to the doubter, gives dreams back to the "realist" and a new heart for the one ruined by cynicism. Our God is the God of BIG DREAMS that seem impossible, but with Him nothing is ever truly impossible! He desperately longs to work inside of you and I to bring a change that can be displayed to the watching world, that they might see in us restoration. He desires for us to live out hope and love for the hurting and the broken.

Getting back to the kites for a moment, our God is a loving Father, who doesn't just leave the kite stuck up in the tree, but He is the Father who takes time to climb into the tree and untangle our kites and set them free again. It is His desire that you would allow His dreams to become your dreams and that they would fly freely in the wind, as a kite set free. I ask you now, is your kite stuck? If it is, you need only ask the Father and He will set you free!!! OUR GOD IS THE GOD OF FLYING KITES!!!